How I’ve missed you. I really wish you could feel what I feel right now. It’s unfair isn’t it, that sometimes or most of the times, those that you love dearly does not feel the same way. Those who have who they want are so lucky, believe me.
There’s nothing else in the world that I’d ask for than you. There’s just something about you that makes me so hooked. Maybe it’s your bad boy ways? Your charming laugh and your handsome, dimpled smile. Just imagining it drives me nuts. Or could it be that you know how to work through my soft spots, or the fact that you are 8 years older than me, which has always been attractive to me.
Yes, I love men who are older than me. In my opinion, they are mature and knows how to take care of their girl better. I really wish I didn’t end up where I am right now. Could it be my fault? Maybe, but I know what I did was for the better.
I couldn’t be the other woman anymore. I can’t stand the thought of you being in your wife arms (rightfully), sleeping beside her at night, celebrating holidays together. What’s worse is that you have a fucking daughter. I didn’t feel the guilt initially (what a bitch, right), even though your wife and I, and even you work in the same company.
Oh dear Lord, if anyone ever found out it would be so humiliating. I didn’t want to be known as the husband stealer. It was weird and awkward enough that your wife and I always cross paths and she’ll stare and smile at me. Sometimes, I wonder if she ever knew at all. Maybe her gut did tell her something’s not right with me. I know so because we woman have strong instincts.
Sometimes I keep thinking to myself, why did I play with fire? I knew in the end that I would get burnt but just why? It’s like I was willing to do anything for you, willing to give up anything just to feel how it feels to be loved by you. I was craving for you so badly, just wanted your attention, just wanted everything to revolve around you. It didn’t make it any simpler that we work in the same outlet and you are my supervisor.
I guess the feelings grew when the light flirting changed to major flirting, we’d stare at each other and smile, we’d laugh and talk about anything and everything. You always made me my favourite lemon water drink whenever I came in to work or when I’m sick you’d make a herbal drink to make me feel better. When I was having an asthma attack, you would rush to get me a brown bag just so that I would feel better.
You may show favoritism towards me and not let me do all the heavy work. I liked that advantage, but I loved it more when you still cared for me. It sucks now that I can feel everything being almost completely gone. It sucks going to work when you are around………. it still fucking hurts.
I still think of you, quite alot even though it’s been almost a year. To be honest, I don’t even remember how it all started. Was it when you texted me how much you wanted me? I still remember when it was our company’s D&D. You looked absolutely stunning in my traditional outfit, I wanted to just run to you in front of everyone and just hug you and kiss you all over. I just wanted to be in your arms.
I was disappointed when you sat with your wife at a different table then our team’s, but at least we were sitting exactly in line to each other. I couldn’t help but keep staring at you, and I saw that you were doing the same. That wink, and the way you lifted your glass of wine and toasted in the air towards me.
The way your eyes followed my trail when I walked past you. The way we were on the dancefloor that even though your wife was beside you and I was in front of the both of you, you couldn’t take your eyes of off me. How daring. It was so hot.
And from there it all started… Stolen kisses in the back office, holding my hands when we are in the station together.
Meeting me at my place, bringing me food and drinks, and even cooking for me. Cuddling in bed with me and just forgetting about the world. Laughing at stupid videos. It hurts just to think about it.
How we had to hide from the public in fear that anyone would see us together. Even so, you were still sweet to wait for me to end work even though you end earlier so that you could send me to the train station to head home. The daily text messages we send each other..
But we had to end things cos things just started to change. I couldn’t be the second choice anymore. You told me I will always be your number two. That was expected.
I am angry now as I think about it, cos I know you were just making use of me. Making use of my vulnerability that many girls share.
I just wanted to impress you so bad. I wanted to impress you every single time, to feel like I am good enough for you. To be perfect for you. Most importantly, I wanted you to want me… but you don’t.
You’re just a manipulative asshole who is a motherfuckin liar, who can’t get enough of one woman. All you know is to FUCK. Well fuck you, you suck anyway. It’s only a matter of time till your wife finds out about your cheating ways. Keeping a whole packet of condoms at your work locker so your wife won’t found out. Wow I wonder how many girls you’ve actually fucked.
Disgusting piece of shit, I hate how I was so blinded. Fuck you moron. I’m glad it’s over. I just want you to get the fuck out of my face at work. Stop talking to me. Stop trying to play nice. I hate you and it’ll remain that way.
Go fuck yourself, I hope you catch a fucking disease from fucking around so much.