I’m mad at myself

I’m mad at myself

I’m mad at myself

LTME-postI’m mad at myself
I’m mad at myself for having that gut feeling but chose not to listen to it
I’m mad at myself for yelling at my friends and family telling them they were wrong when they were right
I’m mad at myself for the times I apologized when I wasn’t wrong
I’m mad at myself for screaming and crying when you told me it was over
I’m mad at myself for believing the dumb lie you told me on the reason you were leaving me
I’m mad at myself for texting you back to back on everything until you blocked me
I’m mad at myself for asking my friends what you were posting
I’m mad at myself that I knew it would hurt me but I asked to see what you posted with your girlfriend
I’m mad at myself for getting mad at my friends when they told me no
I’m mad at myself for taking you back when you came back to me
I’m mad that I believed you changed when you told me it’s different this time
I’m mad at myself for having a worse reaction when you left me again
I’m mad at myself for believing you when you said that she was just a friend
I’m mad at myself for spending all my time thinking about you
I’m mad at myself because I still wonder if you think about me too
I’m mad that no one understands how I feel and they tell me to get over it but I can’t no one gets how I feel I loved you with everything in me you are my first love and my heart can’t control itself when I think about you I think about all the times we had the good and the bad and I just wish I had you back but you cheated it feels like I’m nothing I tried my hardest to keep you and you still went for her all our memories the time you stayed the night the times we stared at each other the times I cooked and watched you reaction the times I spent hours looking at things to buy you the times I prayed for you when I didn’t pray for myself the times I had you at your worse when you were breaking down crying in my arms and I held you the times you didn’t know what to do with your life all this time I spent caring for you I was breaking myself and didn’t know all I worried about was you the times I missed school just so I could stay with you the times I helped you call colleges to try to better you the times I popped up at your job to make you happy the times I spent loving you you were falling for her and you don’t care I’m mad at myself that I chose to love you after everything I’m mad that I still love you now I’m mad I always will love you I can never stop loving you even if I tried I wanted you forever always I always will no matter how bad you hurt me I can’t get over you I’m mad at myself for all of this

1 Comment

  1. Irene Missir 5 years ago

    This pain you feel, i’ve felt it too. Exactly the same, every word feels like i was writing this. You are not alone

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