This is my second letter to you.
It’s been 10 months and you’ve finally gotten in touch. I have cried a thousand times, I have spilt my heart out on the bathroom floor, cried myself to sleep, woken anxiously from nightmares, seen your face in my dreams but I will never tell you any of this.
You’ve said this week that “There are things I have wanted to do so badly but had to stop myself” when speaking about your silence.. I don’t know what’s actually worse, thinking you didn’t want me, or now knowing you lay there in bed and did.
Please let me move forward, I am still struggling with the idea of loving someone that is not you. I am still aching when there is good or bad news, that it be shared with you. There will be a void, forever. Forever, remember that word?
We have accepted for now to trust the journey, and agree whatever is meant to be, will be.
We are too young and gentle to fight what essentially is keeping us apart, facts we know will not change today nor tomorrow and have grown to accept.
I just hope we don’t have to wait too long.
Still missing you.