The thoughts never really subside. I think of you constantly. I miss you. I wish you were next to me – all the time. And every time I think of you I wonder if ever you think of me. Do I ever, even for a second cross your mind? Do you ever find yourself doing something and wishing I was with you there – the way I do? Are you ever reminded of a memory of us? Or have you completely forgotten about me?
I loved you then and I love you still. I wish I could lay in your arms tonight. Hearing the calming sound of your breathing. I miss you, darling. I miss all the times we shared. I miss holding your hand, I miss kissing your lips, I miss staring into those deep blue eyes. I miss cuddling and laughing and having fun…
I don’t miss fighting. And I don’t miss crying or being angry. I don’t miss how we started hating one another – because we simply didn’t fit.
I don’t miss screaming and arguing. I don’t miss being so sad. But, honey, I miss all the good times we had.
I wish I could go back and relive my favourite memories. I wish I could have one last night with you, before everything changed. I wish things were different. I wish you hadn’t moved on yet – but you have. And it hurts so much because I thought I meant the world to you. I thought you wouldn’t want to have sex with anyone else. But I was wrong. I heard how you made her drunk that very first chance you got and hopped into bed with her. I guess I never meant that much to you. I guess sex is just sex. It hurts so bad.
I thought you were the one. I thought we would spend our lives together – isn’t that what you always used to say?
You moved on so quickly. And my head is still spinning. And I know that 6 months after a breakup is decent timing but we were together for 5 years – 5 years! Doesn’t it mean anything to you? You just literally jumped the first girl you could find – or at least the first one who actually gave you the time of day.
Everyone always told me I was way out of your league – I guess you know that now aswell. And the worst part is I still care about you, I still love you and I still want to be with you. But I just couldn’t handle it anymore it was time for us to breakup. I wish I missed you less. I wish I could move on – the way you so easily did.
Just so you know: one day you will look back and realize you lost a treasure without fighting to keep it. On that day you will see that you replaced diamonds with dirt and I will be waking up next to a man who knows what he has and who actualy deserves me.
Until then enjoy your ‘fun’ with her. I’ll enjoy the lonliness for now and when my knight walks in I’ll be ready for eternity with him.