Krystal,

Let me start by saying that my heart has never felt this much pain in my entire life. I still think about you everyday and I am still in shell shock over how we ended. You hurt me and you destroyed what could have been a love that would have stood the test of time 4-ever. Instead you chose lies, deception, alcohol, drugs, and cheap sex with your ex and others over a Godly relationship. You mocked me and made me feel unimportant. You further engaged in some psychotic game with your parents as well to turn them against me which ultimately led to your step father trying unsuccessfully to kill me in my sleep. He went to jail and was just as much one of your victims as I was although he is too stupid to see it. How can you live with yourself after what happened to me because of you??? It was all too easy as well for you to end us the next day, because you already had cheated multiple times on me I found out. Wow……and he was such an ugly fat guy with no future. I still don’t get it and probably never will. You are such a user and are faithful to no one except yourself. Why??? I would have given you my life, heart, and soul for the rest of our lives. You threw it away for a garbage dump of a future.

It’s been 9 months since I last made love to you and told you I love you. I feel as though I am in a prison. I still only love you as insane as it sounds. I cannot give myself to another woman because I still am yours. I have tried to stop being yours and have failed. I changed my phone number and my address so I could not be contacted by you. Still I long to hear your voice and hold your hand. I have tried to hate you and have tried to not think about you every moment. Again I have failed!!!! My heart belongs to you.

What could have saved us on April 5th? Two words from you……”I’m sorry.” You never said those words and still haven’t. If you think for whatever reason or reasons I need to apologize to you, I am truly sorry. No I wasn’t perfect and yes I lied about my age and marital status. I did however come clean and I did say I’m sorry. Something you have never done even to this day. I love you however enough now and did the whole time we were together, to do anything it takes to make us work. You never gave us that. I forgave you for cheating on me the first time and tried to make us work. You couldn’t be faithful. Was it your rape at 14 years old that has distorted your relationships? I asked for an explanation but never got one. I never held your past against you but you continued to lie about it even after I learned the truth of your drunk, drugged up sexual escapades with both men and women. Again I looked past your garbage….

Why am I writing this letter to you? Because we never aired our differences or talked about how we ended. I still love you baby and I’m afraid I always will. If you came to me tomorrow and said those two words, I would be yours again no questions asked. Unconditionally…..
I’m sure most people would say I’m the one who is crazy if after being cheated on and almost killed I would take you back. Maybe I am, but I can tell you one simple truth……I love you and only you.

Waiting for two words from you baby……an apology would solve the pain I have in my heart baby.

Forever yours,

Jon Arthur