I want you to know that you hurt me. Not in rejecting me, that hurt of course, but I want you to know how much you hurt me by leading me on and lying to me for a year. You made me believe that you loved me, that you wanted a life with me, that you were ready for those things. Then you throw it back on me and make me the bad guy for believing those things, suddenly claiming the age card when we knew what we were getting into from the beginning. I know I’m older than you, at a different point in life. But you’re an adult. You should’ve acted like one. You should’ve thought more about what you were doing. And you should never have made me believe that you loved me when you didn’t. And of course you didn’t. You spent a summer with a bunch of people closer to your age and one pretty girl who batted her eyes at you, and all of that mattered more than what you had with me. And I actually loved you and believed you when you told me countless lies, and made me feel guilty for everything. I know I wasn’t perfect either, but I at least tried. You just tried to push me away, and you succeeded. You broke me in a way that no one else has and I hope no one else will. And it kills me that you probably don’t even care what you did, that you’ve had this planned for months. That I threw myself at you for the last few months and embarrassed myself by pouring my heart out to you and trying to ignore when you made me feel ugly and indifferent, and all the while you were throwing your affections and energy at another girl. I feel truly stupid for that. I know we probably won’t ever talk again. You and everyone around you have made that clear. So I didn’t want to let you get away without knowing how awful you treated me. I was truly sorry for the things I said and did to you, and I was working on them. You, on the other hand, spent this last year stringing me along for the ride and making me believe all of your lies. Remember that next time you tell a girl you love her. Don’t tell her unless you mean it.
I’m still hurting