When I’m around you, the whole world stands still. My problems become irrelevant, the clock seems to speed up and my happiness spikes to a whole new level. At these times I try to forget about the times when I cry myself to sleep when yet again I wasn’t good enough, or how instead of looking at all the positive possibilities, you look at the negatives in me. Moments like these ones make me question all of my beliefs. But then the day grows old and the cycle begins again. I go from happy to insecurely upset in the matter of seconds. At these times it is when I think of the lows. Whether it’s a simple “don’t ever talk to me again” or “your best friend fucked your girl at your house” every time I stepped on a football field. Football used to be sanctuary of stress relief, but instead it turned into a stress creator. You weren’t physically there, but you were there in spirit and it killed me 24/7. This is when I wish I could run and hide from the whole world and sleep my life away. But you still come around and jumpstart the cycle every time I think I’m close to breaking it. I wish I could just loose all memory of this summer when it was just you and I; at the movies, bowling, talking on the phone, or the car rides I wish would never end. Knowing that I was so happy really makes the sadness sting even more. I just wish I could be good enough for you. I wish you would see me as better then the countless guys behind me that treated you terribly, and left you when you were down. You keep looking for your happiness in all the wrong places. Because your happiness has been here the whole time but hidden in the friend zone. One day you’ll realize what could have been. But for now I just sit and wait, praying that the day nears when you wake up and realize who is really meant to be with you.
The loyal “best friend”