5 years of abuse

5 years of abuse

5 years of abuse

Like most abusers, you were charming in the beginning, enough so that you could get the most of me. Do you remember that? How you made it seem like you genuinely cared, how you made me think you were different Well you know what? Props to you for taking advantage of my vulnerability and overly-trusting nature. You did it well, you made it all very believable, it must make you feel like such a big man. Eventually, you let the façade drop and what once seemed like an overly caring personality began to slowly, but ever so surely, turn into the controlling and manipulative person I came to fear At first, it was little things, like I was out of pocket all the time cause you had people telling you stuff and, It eventually turned into you getting mad at me because some random guy’s at the club was talking shit i was dancing to make money for you I always took care of you. And god every new were my money went Or you accusing me of “staring” at other guys, including some of your few friends. In reality, I was only guilty of existing I can’t totally blame you because I was stupid enough to put up with your shit for 4 years I was dumb to not see through the smoke and mirrors and the cheating and in your mind you left me but you were still coming over having sex with me and still taking my money and i was dumb enough to still trust whatever came out of your mouth and you were a compulsive liar and trusting you was the last thing I should’ve done. You tried to isolate me from my own self your tore me down mentally physically emotionally you made other guys afraid to talk to me and so i wouldn’t make any money for you with your jealousy and many insecurities, so I avoided making too many plans at the club when you came in you went as far to make shit up about Cam we fought for a whole month it must make you feel so good about yourself and make you feel like a man to beat and live off of women you will never be happy You threatened to break up with me every chance you got if i wasn’t doing what you wanted or asked of me Basically, anything that I had in my life that wasn’t you, you tried to either take away or push away from me.Calling me every name in the book and telling me you’d leave and accusing me of giving your money to another guy As if I was just around to hold you down

But enough about what you did.

I don’t regret our relationship. And the only reason I say this is because it made me grow. It taught me what it felt like to be so beaten down that I now appreciate my life to the fullest without you in it. It taught me what abuse and control were so that now I fully appreciate those who treat me well,.You showed me that there are people in this world, people like you, who need to use others as pawns in their game for the sole purpose of making their miserable selves feel better. I pity you. It must be awful to live such a sorry life. I also want to thank your sorry ass. You showed me what someone trying to be a man looks like so that now I can appreciate what a real man actually is. Thank you for showing me what love isn’t because now I will be able to find love and a real man Thank you, for teaching me what an awful, arrogant, insignificant, and most importantly, insecure person you are. Because really, you abused me because of your own demons and insecurities, and honestly, I feel sorry for you.

So, here’s to you, abusive ex-boyfriend. I can only hope that you’ve learned something from all that you put me through. Maybe one day you’ll figure it out. But then again, you probably won’t; you were never the brightest bulb in the pack

1 Comment

  1. Jeannie 3 years ago

    Yeah. Really well-put. Can relate to this. Searching “traumatised by psychopath boyfriend” led me to all the information I needed. Couldn’t believe it took so long to find it all. But there it all was, over and over, not just the one website. A big shopping list of what this so-called person had been up to, and what I could expect if I continued to have to so with him. Hugs.

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