Dear Nameless,

I don’t want you back. I don’t want to talk. I’m not seeing anyone new, nor do I really plan to. I don’t even want my stuff back anymore. I’m definitely not here to say thank you.
I’m just here to say…something. You’ll read into this what you want to read into this, but I suggest taking the words at face value.

First, to all the young lovers out there…stop. Bottom line – if you don’t have your life in order, and/or your partner doesn’t have their life in order, your relationship is going to fail. You don’t breed order from disorder. If you want something long-term and stable, have a long-term plan and a stable life.
Second, tell the truth, or, at the very least, don’t lie. With enough experience you’ll find they aren’t the same thing.
Third, have convictions and stick to them. For example, I talked to a woman recently that told me she didn’t have kids, and hated liars. Then the next day she told me she had a kid. She also, unconsciously, told me she’s a liar and hates herself. I don’t care “why” she lied, because everybody lies for the same reason : to get something they can’t get through the truth.
In any case, I promised myself I wouldn’t allow myself to get into obviously fucked up situations, and I’m sticking to it.
Fourth, if you don’t live within an hours driving distance, the odds are against you. Date locally.
Fifth, if your interests are pulling you in different directions, accept it. Imagine two sail boats sailing away from each other, with a rope attached to the mast. One or both of you is losing a mast and taking heavy, possibly catastrophic, damage. I’m saying end it before someone gets hurt.

For the guys…
Get your shit together. No woman worth having wants a sloppy, messy, lazy, unorganized man.
Get some muscles. No woman worth having wants a weak man, let alone a flabby one.
Get to work. No woman worth having wants to date a broke, homeless guy, or play Second Mommy to an overgrown man-child.
Own yourself. No woman worth having wants a man she can manipulate; a mentally weak man. If you’re a Zelda nerd, just be free about being a Zelda nerd. If she wants to turn her nose up at you, let her. You’re only losing out on someone your genitals find interesting.
As an aside, look up the term “shit tests”. Learn to spot them and deal with them.
Understand and accept that you are, ultimately, worthless if you’re not doing something that can be of benefit to others. Understand and accept these are the standards you will be held to and judged by.
You can whine and cry about how it’s not fair, or you can hold your potential partners to the same standard. Which I recommend doing.

Separate facts from feelings, and deal with facts and only facts.

Back to Nameless.
You’ve influenced all this, and more I haven’t eluded to. You pushed me in a direction that forced me to see a lot of things, but you especially, in a completely different light. I’m not mad, grieving, or yearning. I’m indifferent.
Well, if that’s so, why am I writing at all? Just to be an exhibition, I suppose. Serve a warning, share a story and some advice. I read these letters, and it’s a shame how, minus a key detail here or there, they all seem to sound like ‘us’ in a way.
Well, we were a catastrophe. And somebody has to learn from the past.