I’m going to be completely honest, I miss you. I think about you a lot more than I should. We haven’t spoken face to face in months. A week ago I was at Amber’s house and saw you walking your dog. I almost went and said hello, but I couldn’t. Evan told me how much you talk about me still. He says you miss me.
No matter how much I miss you, I can’t ever be with you again though. It’s for my own good. Alec, you cheated on me with someone who I thought was my best friend. No matter how many texts you send, how many times your friends tell me you miss me, how you regret what you did, you still did it.
The thing is, I’m not holding a grudge. I’ve forgiven you for cheating. I forgave a while ago, but I won’t forget. I won’t forget how every lunch we had as a group you two where making eyes, how I when I was on my friend’s phone I saw you snapchatting her at 2 in the morning, how when I confronted you about it you lied to me. You held me and told me “only you”.
You said that a lot. You’d say “only you” when I’d get suspicious. You’d say it when we where alone together, or on our way home. I can’t forget that either. I can’t forget all the sweet things you said to me. I can’t forget the rose you got me for valentines last year, how I pressed it and used it as a bookmark for so long.
I can’t forget, but I can ignore. So I will. I’ll ignore every text, every mention of your name, every time I’m with Evan and he starts talking about how you miss me. I’ll ignore how you live a quarter of a mile away from my closest friends house. I’ll ignore everything until I do forget.