Not really sure where to start. But I have to start somewhere. I never got closure. I didn’t know I needed it. It’s been years since we even talked, but I think about you a lot. I’m married now, but you probably found that out somehow at some point, considering he was your best friend. Sometimes I’m really, really happy. Sometimes I miss you. I don’t really know what happened. The last I remember I was sitting on the phone with you. You had said to me that you “genuinely wanted to try again” with me (after 7 long years of trying already), and I think I blew you off. I had trust issues. I have trust issues. Big surprise there. Looking back, I can say I really gave it all I got, but at that age I didn’t have much. I wasn’t a woman yet, though I definitely thought I was. I had no idea. We were young and stupid. I’m sorry for everything. But more than anything, I’m sorry to myself for wasting so much of my time with you. The manipulation, the heartbreak, the lies and cheating, the deceit, the emotional abuse, putting me down, controlling my every move.. You’ve left scars that will never heal. I may miss you, but it’s only the version of you I built up in my head based on the few good memories I chose to be blinded by. You’ll never meet the woman I am now. You’ll never know what you’re missing. And oddly, I’m okay with that. Years ago I would’ve sought you out, rubbed it in your face, stirred the drama pot, but this is the new me. This is my awesome life now, full of light and healing. This is my goodbye to you, for my own closure. This is me taking our story into my own hands. This is where my side of this story ends… In a happily ever after, without you.

Forever Yours,


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