I have considered so many times whether I should send you this, but what good would that do me. You’re done with our “relationship”. The worse thing about it is that no matter how upset and in love with you I am, there’s nothing I can say or do to change the fact that you no longer want me. I truly cared about you. You were exciting, and almost like my little secret. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, or how I once felt about you. I’ll never forget the things that we shared with each other and how happy you made me. You were unlike any guy i’ve ever met or talked to… You were so willing to let loose and be yourself no matter how crazy you were. I loved you for all your quirks. The fact that you were so great to me has made it extremely hard for me to be angry at you for leaving me with this terrible feeling. I never thought the person who made me feel so much joy would be able to cause so much pain. You truly fucked up my emotions and because of that, I haven’t been able to focus on what really matters in my life right now. You’ve made me question whether I wanted to continue my relationship. I could distract myself from you by getting back together with Rj, but I don’t want that. I just want you. I feel almost sick thinking about how much disregard for this situation you’ve put me in. You’re making it seem like my fault, when in reality we both did things we should regret. I’m usually a pretty well centered person, but lately I have just been all out of whack. You have made me think and do things that are way out of my character and in some ways maybe that’s a positive thing, but i’ve regretted a lot of it. I think you’re an asshole for trying to make me feel bad about the things we did. You initiated all of it, so you can’t put all the blame on me. After all of the things you said, and how often you talked about wanting to be together, I can’t believe you’ve changed your mind. We fell for each other, and you convinced me to break up with him. And once I did it? You said you felt bad and that I shouldn’t have done it. In my opinion, that’s a pretty hypocritical thing to say. You hurt me bad and you know that, but you decided to make yourself seem like the good guy. I’ve asked you multiple times if you felt bad about what we were doing. But, did you once say you did? Nope. You said you didn’t care, and that we were having fun so it didn’t matter. Now that I did what you wanted, you’re making it seem like you want to just be friends. Maybe you’re trying to protect me, or maybe it’s just you trying to keep your reputation good. It’s much easier for you to forget everything and just be friends, but I still miss what we used to have. I don’t think it’s possible for me to put all that aside so that we can start to talk regularly again. It’s selfish of you to want to just be friends after I ended things with a person I once loved to be with you. Multiple girls have told me this is just what you do. That you’re a fuckboy. That you lead girls on. That you use them to get what you want, and then leave them hurting. When you do this do you know how much you’re effecting these girls? By doing this, you’re making the girls believe they did something wrong. I know for a fact I did nothing wrong. Doing this to all these girls is going to come back to you one day. Maybe one day you’ll truly care about someone, but they’ll use you. Maybe you’ll beg them to stay, but nothing you say will stop them from walking out that door. I’m not saying I want bad things to happen to you, I just want you to know what it feels like to have your heart broken. You know you fucked up, and I just can’t help but smile because you have to live with the fact that you hurt one of your best friends.
The one you once loved.