I still think about marrying you, isn’t that pathetic

I still think about marrying you, isn’t that pathetic

I still think about marrying you, isn’t that pathetic

LTME-postDear Ex,
I’ve written countless letters and numerous text messages to myself to no avail. I have cried to so many people and poured out my heart to many, but the heart break is still not over. It’s been almost 5 months since we broke up and I still think about the why, how, and what we could have done differently. I so wish that we could have been friends, but after your actions afterwards, that was not a possibility. Maybe it was not a possibility because I knew I loved you so much more. Being friends would not have been enough for me. I also know I will never stop loving you and the life we had envisioned for ourself will take a long time to disappear. Just once I wanted you to tell me you wanted me. Just once I wanted you to tell me I will be okay and that we will be okay. But now, I know you have done way too many things for me to ever be able to have you back. I don’t want to be with you, but I want you to be with me. Does that make sense. How messed up is that. I tried the no contact rule, still thinking you would message me. I can’t understand how you don’t care about me and I can’t understand how you can pretend you don’t have feelings for me, because I know you do. Your ego is just too strong for you to admit it. That’s fine. I should not want anything to do with you right? Will I find someone better than you? Will I find someone who will prove not with his words, but with his actions that I mean the world to him. I hope there is still a chance for me to find love, and I hope I can love myself first before I let another person in my life again. I thought that would have been you. I still think about marrying you, isn’t that pathetic? Why did you make me believe you were a great guy, and then change everything? It still feels like a dream sometimes, and I have to wake up and remind myself every morning that I am strong, and can move on. I will be okay. I wish I never see you again. Good bye.

1 Comment

  1. angelcakes 4 years ago

    I still imagine myself marrying my ex too. She repeatedly told me on her own accord that she wanted to marry me, then grew distant, fell out of love, and cut me off. I’m still hurt by her broken promises. You’re not pathetic.

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