To My X Darren

To My X Darren

To My X Darren

LTME-post

Dear Ex:

Our story started like any other story. We stayed up late talking, laughing and fell in love … we got to know our deepest secrets and I trusted you with everything and you trusted me.

We hung out and never left each other’s sides because we were happy, but a year and half later we outgrew that and you became your true self around me. After the novelty of a new relationship wore off and some time … we slowly became who you really are. I won’t say I was perfect because I know I am not, but I pray that I will never be anything like you were.

You hid your criminal and social services cases from me, that I watched you get arrested after we had dinner because you never told me you were on bail for a fight at a club. I was told no one got hurt but only YOU , however two years later I found out after you pleaded guilty that .. it was a girl who pressed the charges because you gave her stitches up her face and caused her a lot of harm.

I should have ran then, but unfortunately, I stayed still for you and your son.
After a while, Your tone started to filled with rage, and when you didn’t get your way, the punishment was degrading me or threats.

If I wanted to hang out with friends, I was guilt-tripped into coming straight home because you weren’t there and you needed eyes on me at all times. You started to isolate me from the world , you even got mad at me when I had to attend work trade shows out of town or wanted to stay at my moms after a visit.

You always would get mad and hurl insults at me. Trying to talk to you was impossible because you threw every insecurity I had trusted you with ….right back in my face.

Eventually I became numb and was walking on egg shells around you. I was and stuffed every emotion inside of me to hide and revisit when I was alone, because if I didn’t, I would be punished physically and emotionally by you.

From the beginning, my friends and family all knew you were no good, and they warned me time and time again that you would only bring harm to my life.

However, every single time I brought these concerns up to you, you pushed them away and said that Only you could make me happy and that no one would make me happier than you.

I thought I could fix you with your addictions and rage and anger but I should’ve known that you didn’t want to be fixed.

You loved playing the victim card and loved the attention of having people feel sorry for you. You always broadcasted on your social media about the lost of your x who you degraded worst than me in the messages you kept on your phone. You pretended to have custody when child-services only let you near your son if I was present or someone in advance in writing with a clean criminal record check.

I listened to your sob stories about all of your past relationships and slowly came to the realization that the girls weren’t as crazy as you made them out to be and that you hurt every single one and some didn’t make it out.

I got pregnant and it was a miracle cuz I didn’t think I was able to have children, this was a happy time for me but little did people know that three weeks after I found out , you were sentenced to jail for 6 months. You weren’t around for my first trimester and half the second. I was working full time and was trying to provide for our family making sure all the bills got paid on both our ends and stepped up for you son.

You got out and you became a mess again not learning from your mistakes, you started relapsing multiple times during my pregnancy and would stay up for days.. You got violent during my pregnancy and I started sleeping at my moms were I felt safe.

You knew I was going on my maternity yet you got fired from 3 jobs right away and told me I couldn’t go off work early.. even though my doctor told me to.

My baby shower you got mad and stormed away in front of my whole family, leaving yours embarrassed at the table. My doctor stated I needed rest because my blood pressure was extremely high and that She was concern yet you told me that it was MY JOB to cook and clean and do your laundry even through you weren’t working and I still was.

If I had been smart I would’ve stayed away from you from the moment you gave me my first black eye and knocked me out, but unfortunately for me I was guilt tripped because you said your son would be taken away completely. I was a stupid girl who believed your lies of changing and love for me . You were better for about two seconds, but it took you no time at all to return back to normal and even worse than the first time. I can’t even be mad at you anymore because I am ashamed I let myself stay for that long.

This time you made jokes about my insecurities. You said it was all in my head and it was time for me to get over myself during my pregnancy. It was at that moment I started to resent you, but you had it in my mind that being a single mom would never work out for me.

Then came the worst of it. We got into the worst fight yet, and I was tired of backing down. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I was so tired of apologizing for everything.

You punished me and could had harmed our baby… . I was also greeted by the fact that you never cared about my well being or safety of our son because you made it clear that if I left you, that you wouldn’t work or help at all. You never bought or helped the whole time I was pregnant cuz sitting on social assistant was something you were proud of.

I knew right then and there that I was done with you and weeks before I gave birth you left to go out for a few hours and I left you.

I abandoned the fear of being alone and leaped into the unknown. I ended things with you and I will never regret that but you sure threatened me and my family right away to the point I had to put a non harassment order against you for me and my sons safety.

It’s been over five months since leaving you with our child and the memory of dating you seems like a distance dream sometimes, (a nightmare to be exact) and I have grown stronger and stronger every day.

Through months of crying because I always wanted a happy family for my son and that He was never going to have that with his real father or someone I could trust.

Then after three months of you not helping or wanting to be a father, I choose to serve you with court papers asking for what any mother would do .
I wanted full custody since you were never around as my son didn’t know you.
You then choose to come after me for child support!!!! …. for your first son because you couldn’t keep a job and used my kindness against me. After everything I did for you and your son and I couldn’t believe you would do that.

You guilt tripped me for leaving your son and you but I offered to take him and you told me that would never happen and to Fuck off. I didn’t abandon your son or you .. you just couldn’t use me anymore and that angered you ….that you would have to depend on your mother again since you lost your license for dangerous driving for two years and couldn’t afford your bills anymore and you never once had your son full time.

I watched you send your son off every chance you got , tired, wanted to sleep in, if u wanted to party . He was at your mothers for most the week and on weekends. That made me upset cuz I would never be doing that with my son and you couldn’t get that. You collect a baby bonus and a death benefit from your x yet I can count on one hand the things you have purchased for your son. No diaper – no sports -no events – nothing! Nothing for either of them.

In the end I send my lawyer all the supportive evidence against you and now you can only lie to the people who don’t ask me or know me. I have the images of my black eye, I have the threats -and all the abuse You subjected me with! I am thankful I kept it all as you can choose to lie to friends but can’t in court .

After this all,

It gave me so much clarity of how you always just wanted a free ride and I pity the woman who actually marries you and if they have any assets .. you would be the man that would take her hard earned money or parents money like you tried with me.

After reading and some counselling, I realized I wasn’t crazy, clingy, stupid or worthless. I did learn however that you are an emotionally abusive and narcissistic shell of a human being. That’s not just my opinion either, that is a professional’s opinion.

A little while ago someone brought up your name and apologized because they thought I would still had feelings for you because of our son.

I could only smile because I realized i would feel so bad for anyone who dates you and I felt absolutely nothing but pity for you as if a girl isn’t vaccinated upfront like I was ..that you would lie and could really effect and destroy someone’s life.

I don’t hate you or even dislike you anymore, but I will forever pity the pathetic excuse for a man that you are. We both know you will forever be miserable and insecure trying to seek praise on social media.. we both know this deep down inside, and that’s good enough for me. I wish you all the best though in trying to at least live a happy life and posting fake social media photos to make others still feel bad for you. I just hope no other girl falls for it like I did.

Sincerely,

The girl who is doing great and is raising our son into a man any woman will be proud to marry one day! I am doing this without any of your money, support or help because I finally became a strong WOMAN and didn’t need YOU!

No more black eyes, no more violence , no more abuse , no more control and no more YOU!
#deadbeatfather #deadbeat #suspended lisence loser #trying to get support from me- you should feel embarrassed # no job # got fired 4 times last year #got proof – go ask my lawyer #woman beater #at-least I got out alive #cant support either of your kids or yourself #such a sad life
#girls – he’s all YOURS! Hahaha

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