I wish I could let you feel how much I’m hurting

I wish I could let you feel how much I’m hurting

I wish I could let you feel how much I’m hurting

Dear you,
It’s being a while , I’m still hurting and I hate to admit it. I can’t believe that I’m here writing about how broken up I am. I never knew that I could be hit so hard by someone. Every time I think about the good memories that you gave me, I just keep on smiling even though I’m hurting. The words that you said to me that night, they went so deep inside of me. There are nights that I cried for you because it hurts me so much that you didn’t trust me ; remembering about the relationship that we had , it caused me pain but also joy.

There were times when you made me cried at nights because you made me felt useless, hopeless and I felt like I was drowning in my feelings and tears. Didn’t I still forgave you for all those tears and pain you caused? Yes I did. A part of me knew that all of my trying and tears would one day be in vain.

A lot of times you told me that you didn’t wanted me any more and how we should let this relationship slide and every time you say that to me it’s like my world is turned upside down and I felt as if life wasn’t worth living. I could never get use to those words ; looking back at how I kept on falling for you , I felt so stupid and I felt like an idiot but in the midst of it I just couldn’t help myself.

I cared about you and I would go the extra mile for you and I would buy you things  but at the end of the day you classify me as mean, selfish and self-righteous. How dare you?

All these days , weeks and months that has passed ,I cant help thinking that I’m a bad person because deep down I know that I did care for you , I know that I was kind. You don’t have any idea how hurt I am and in the past I know that I hurt you but I tried to play my part by trying to love you and only you but you could never forgave me even though you said you did. You just kept on punishing me over and over again. I didn’t deserve that but you made me felt as if I did because I hurt you in the past. You held that over my head and you always thought that you were right even when you  apologized but your actions showed me that you are one self-righteous son of a bitch.

I hope that you could find the right lady to fix all your pot holes because they need to be fixed but I can’t be the one to do it because you never gave me a chance.


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