Hey, its been about 8 months since we last spoke n ended things. i hope u’re doing good i guess. A few days ago, u requested to follow my main with an account u made, thinking i wouldn’t know it’s you… i’m not stupid.
it just brought back a lot of very painful memories about our relationship.
It was really toxic but i’m so glad i left. it was the best decision i ever made. i admit there were a few times where u made me genuinely happy, but most of it was toxic, we fought a lot and i don’t think either of us were truly happy. Our was filled with lots of insecurities and doubts. u used to criticise me all the time and insult my friends, even when u knew how much they meant to me, while i was always trying my best to get my friends to like u and u to like my friends, it was so hard and mentally draining.
We broke up once and got back together again. the second time we got back together, our relationship gradually got worse. one time u told me that if i wanted to cheat i should just do it before u got too emotionally invested in me. did u know how much it hurt me when u said that? that’s just one of the many times u said stuff that really broke my heart. even when i wanted to end things, u tried to get me to stay by posting a really personal and private message to me about our relationship but u didn’t respect my privacy at all. instead you posted it on instagram where ur other friends probably saw it and when i told u to take it down, u told me it doesn’t matter.
You always used to invite me over to ur place to “hang out”, i mean its sweet but i should’ve seen it coming. u pressurised me to do things i wasn’t comfortable doing. i made it pretty clear that i didn’t wanna do it, but u still did it anyway. even when i was sleeping, u would just touch me as u please, like i was just an object to u. someone u could use and call ur girlfriend so u could feel better about urself.
i was the one always putting in effort into the relationship. i wrote u 12 letters for u to read everytime u were feeling a certain way, i spent a week on that. and for my birthday, u did the same thing and even gave me ur USED wireless earpieces just bc i said i wanted them, thinking that i wouldn’t realise that it was actually yours. did u actually think i would believe that you “bought” them? u literally wrapped it with brown paper and tape and just gave me the earpiece in the case, no charging cable, no box, nothing. also, the casing battery was flat when i tested it.
i always had a gut feeling that something was wrong but i just couldn’t figure out what is was. hence, i decided not to dwell on it too much and give u the benefit of the doubt instead. i should have trusted that gut feeling. one time before our monthsary (the date was near my birthday) when i wanted to have a look at ur phone u said u needed to delete some stuff bc u didnt want me to see the “surprise” u prepared for my birthday. u always checked my phone and went through every single app. whatsapp, telegram, instagram dms, photos and even my super private account that i only allow a few people to follow. even though i told u that i was not comfortable with u looking through my phone, u did. u even blocked guys that used to like me but i dont talk to anymore. i didnt realise how controlling and possessive u were until i told my friends about it.
I just wanna know one thing – why did u cheat? u could have just told me that u wanted to break up with me instead of me having to find out myself after our break up. u have communicated with me about how u felt, instead of just text other girls on dating apps. it would hurt less that way. even though its been quite a while since we ended things, it still hurts a lot. u hurt me very deeply and i’m still trying my best to get over it. sucks that i have to deal w the trauma but i know i’ll be okay eventually. thank u for teaching me what i dont deserve in a relationship. i dont need a man to be happy. all the best i guess.
And to anyone reading this, always know that u’re loved and u are enough. don’t let anyone tell u otherwise. you’ll be okay! <3 lots of love