Dear Gracie
Words can’t explain how terrified I’ve been to write you this, but i feel like it can’t hurt, Can it? Well, we’ll see. I just want you to know how I completely feel. The last thing I want is to come across your mind as needy and desperate. ( But that’s not the Case ) it Is Just My heart speaking. I guess I’ve decided to write this because lately, I miss you so much it hurts. I miss looking forward to talking to you and seeing you everyday. I miss when we would just talk on the phone for hours. When you’d not say a word and tell me you love listening to the sound of my voice. I miss when I would go to look at you, but you were already looking at me first.

Some days I miss you so much. I go through all the messages you wrote me, and it makes me smile, but then I wake up in the morning realizing you’re not here anymore, and I get sad again. To hear I was your world, always made me feel special. You were not ashamed of me and you would remind me you loved me everyday.

I’ve tried to convince myself I don’t want you anymore. But I just can’t let go. I don’t want to see you move on, but I’m not doing much about it either. I could tell you how much I’ve missed you for days and weeks , but I feel like it won’t make a difference. I simply cannot put into words how I feel about you when I see you, hear you. My heart breaks just to be around you. I take in the way you move, the way you talk,  whenever you are around although it may only be for a brief moment, it’s enough to make my day. These intense feelings will never go away. Every day and night I thank all the decisions that made you come into my life and I try to tell you how I feel, because what I feel for you exists inside my heart.

I often think of that wonderful evening when we first hung out the first time we watched a movie – the first time we spoke to each other – the first time we touched – the first time we had a sleepover, our first kiss when we were both nervous laying on your bed looking into each others eyes when you first kissed me and i got scared and was too nervous to kiss you back. It seems just like yesterday to me because I have always kept such precious memories constantly alive in the pages of my mind. If you decide to open up your heart to me again, you will benefit from my improved personal standards which can only serve to elevate this relationship from the emotional state in which it seems to have found itself in.  

Every second we’ve been apart, every word, action and thought that has ever been spoken or passed, has travelled through the depths of my mind And it makes me a better person everyday.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that, look, it’s not a need or necessity to have you back, but it’s a choice instead to want to be with you again. 

And my mind and heart choose to be with you – so look there’s a difference between  needing you back and choosing to want to be with you. The purpose of this letter is to let you acknowledge that I’m not asking for you to take me back right now, I don’t want to be selfish and pressure you to  be back with me all over again.I don’t want that, All i’m trying to say and gain from this letter is for a little sign of hope that one day this storm will calm down and it will be sunny again between you and me again. because the way i feel about you is very special to me you are and will always be my first love.