Why did you do it?

Why did you do it?

Why did you do it?

Dear M, 
I’ll miss you forever. Maybe one day we’ll meet again when we’re both ready and know what we really want. If not, if this is the end i wish you the best in life, i hope you achieve your goals.  I hope you get everything you want and deserve. I hope you succeed in this life, with football most importantly i know you were passionate about it. You deserve the best.

I’m happy we were able to make all those memories together, i wouldn’t have want to experienced them with somebody else, but you broke my heart and ruined so many things for me. But you will always be my person. I’m always going to love and care for you no matter what you did to me.

I really wish you the best i wont forget about you or the love we shared. I will always be rooting for you even if it’s from a far. I just asked myself where did i go wrong, where did i fail you. I don’t understand i opened up to you the night we met i was going to end it and you came in, my knight in shining armour. You let me opened up to you, you understood me you were there for me and that’s what i’m most mad about i let myself get hurt. I was madly in love. You know what I’ve been through, I opened up and told you everything.

You were the first person I’ve trusted in a long time. You told me you would never leave me, you knew that I had trust issues, you told me you would always be there for me. You told me someday in the future, you would marry me, and we would start a family, but then you just randomly end things. You would reassure me everyday and I don’t think i’ll ever be able to love someone the way i loved you.

The moment you made the excuse up my heart dropped and shattered. Something told me i was in the process of losing you. I didn’t want to experience having to let you go. You were my happiness, my motivation to keep going. I didn’t want to lose you. I loved you i really did. All the things you said kept me up and don’t get me wrong i miss you everyday, but there’s thing that i do that remind me that you’re not with me anymore.

I wanna be able to let you go but i’m breaking myself every single day. There’s still days where i can still hear your laugh and see your amazing eyes and smile, i lost myself in the process of loving you and now i cant seem to find my way back to myself.  You’ll always be the love of my life just maybe not in this life time so all i ask is to take care of yourself. I love you forever.


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