I am forever sorry for what happened between us and I wish this did not have to happen. We had something very special and it was too good to be true. We connected straight away and needed each other. I was head over heels the very short time we had been talking for and I was oblivious to anything and everything else. You made me feel confident about myself and gave me constant reassurance that i was beautiful. At first I was hesitant about you and afraid to get attached but you made me feel safe and I needed that.
Days went by with you on my mind non-stop, dreaming of the moment when we would finally meet. People told me you weren’t worth it and that you were a player but yet you fooled me into believing that i was different and I was the one you really wanted. You were the boy from my dreams and I never thought I would find you. I was so happy those few days and I didn’t have a care for anything else in the world.
But then I started to crumble and felt myself slowly being ripped apart and torn down. I was being pulled back into my old ways and habits. A big grey cloud hovered over my head and I knew something was wrong. I felt empty that night and so alone despite the fact I had found my dream guy. I was overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions and I didn’t know how to deal with them so instead I sat in my room in silence for hours on hours without the smile he used to put on my face. I felt depressed and lonely. My mind was telling me that nobody wanted me and that no one would care if I left.
I tried talking to you about it but you didn’t seem to understand the dark place I was in. The only thing that you knew how to say was “cute” or “hottie” instead of taking my hand and leading me through the dark. I never wanted to hear those words again. I used to be humbled by those words and felt so loved until I realised they meant nothing. I would send you photos of my wall and still see the word cutie show up somehow, leaving me questioning everything.
Later that night I received a text from one of my friends telling me that she had asked if you were talking to anyone and you said ‘no’. She told me this and I felt my heart sink. This was the moment I had been so scared of from the start and didn’t ever want to imagine it happening to me. I trusted you and gave you my whole heart and everything I had in me just to find out I was just another girl who had fell for you. I felt disappointed thinking out how many other girls this may of happened too as well.
You told me you loved me and I believed you but god will I never make that mistake again. I blocked you on all social media platforms and I didn’t want to hear your petty excuses and apologies. You had one chance with me and you blew it. I start getting messages from multiple people telling me you wanted to explain and that you really like me and that you were very upset. But i didn’t give in because i’m not going to be some girl that is messed around with and comes crawling back to you so that you think its okay. I have to move on now and carry on with my life without you and forget the many plans that we had for our future. I thank you for the happiness you gave me but now i say goodbye to all of the pain that came with that happiness.