My secret high school boy

My secret high school boy

My secret high school boy

It’s been 5 years now. But, from time to time I still think about what I should have said to you and what I should have done better. 

I was insecure. You were my first boyfriend. I was ecstatic and so I told my friends – after awhile – who told others unbeknownst to me, thus the word spread. But, you. You were embarrassed of me, and so you wanted to keep our relationship a secret and denied everything. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of loving; not worthy of your honesty and I felt like a fool in front of others. So, I started to distance myself from you. 

Eventually, when I left for college, I blocked you on social media. I ghosted you. Now, I know what it’s like to be ghosted; it’s painful and confusing. I am so sorry I did that to you. My insecurities and disappointment turned me into somebody undeserving of any relationship. I failed to communicate with you. I wanted you to see that I was hurt; that I didn’t want to be something you hid away whilst you flirting openly with other girls. But, I was emotionally immature and I know it must have hurt you. I’m sorry. I should have told you what I felt directly. I should have asked you why. 

Wherever you are now, I hope that you are doing well. I truly hope that you are happy and that, perhaps, you may have found somebody else who you love and who treats you well. 

– K


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