You don’t deserve me

You don’t deserve me

You don’t deserve me

Dear P.,
There was only one thing I was sure about… That you would never lie to me or mislead me.
I know it was never an ideal ‘’relationship’’ from your point of view, however I felt it was special for both of us.
You’ve also confirmed this several times.
You’re now saying you gave me a chance, but I feel it totally differently.

Currently I’m not sure what’s happening exactly, but even after this time you can drive me crazy.
I live me life, you do so. However when your name comes to my mind, I can focus only on you. And I know this is not happening with everyone. Only with you, in my whole f..king life.
I tried to get a chance, but it seems you realized nothing after this break (6 months already, huh).
And you know what?
I’ve realized, that it was not a chance for me. It was a chance for you. It was an opportunity for you, but you missed it.

Yes, it hurts me. But everything happens for a reason.
I’m certainly sure you’ll regret this one day, but I will no longer wait for that day.
This time I’ll move on, and let you go. I will not try, I will do it.

Yes. You don’t deserve me. This is the sad reality I had to realize. 
The woman I love only existed in my head, but you were never like that. I wanted you to be, I pushed on you, but you just can’t change (or just don’t want to change – but it does not matter).

I’m sad, and angry. But you know me well. I’d never hurt you.
Honestly I hope you’ll find real happiness at least once in your life.
Please wish me the same.
I won’t forget our story, I love you to the moon and back, even if this not changes anything.

Take care.
From Paris with love.

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