Hello Ilay,
I know you wouldn’t be able to read this letter. Yet I am here at 12 midnight can’t sleep and writing all my emotions on this letter. I don’t know where and how it all started, I just woke up one day excited to go to hadarokel? (That’s how it’s sounds to me that place) So I can see you. You gave light to my lonely world. It’s such ashamed that I’m a way too older than you. I am ashamed to myself for liking someone who’s decade younger than me..

Lots of people said I don’t look my age. I look younger but I didn’t see myself like that in the mirror. Everyday I’m walking the dog around kibbutz hoping maybe I can be able to see you by chance although I know where is your place I don’t want to go there. Whenever you are near my heart beats so fast that I can’t breathe. My knees doesn’t have any strength. My hands are shaking. This is the first time I felt something like this to someone.

Every night I am praying to remove this feeling I have for you and at the morning I am asking for a chance to be with you just you and me even for a day. I wanted to free this feeling I had for you. I don’t know if you feel the same for me. I don’t want to give false hope to myself.. you are just kind and loving person. I’m gonna miss you.. take care.. and I won’t forget you..