Was that I knew it had to end . You slowly became this monster who I didn’t recognize anymore. In my mind I gave you one more month to get your shit together. 
God it hurt and I knew it would. Having to walk away from someone I still very much loved and was willing to fight for was heartbreaking. I was weak and texted you though I regret that. I hate that I showed weakness to you. Now I know it has a name trauma bond. I saw the other day that you had girl you were chatting with text me asking for you. Again I’m reminded of your cruelty and lies. 
I think if I had stayed with you I would have died. You would have killed me because now I know the real you was what I saw in the end. The reality of that and truth of it still floors me sometimes. 
I’ve mended my life and my heart now. I know I can never let you back in. My life is peaceful and quiet. I am happy. I may never be in another relationship again but that’s ok. I’ve found happiness in other parts of my life, friends who love me, and despite your attempts I did finish my doctorate. You can never take that from me. 
Despite all of this I was sad to see a picture of you. You look  worn out and gross. I was sad because someone I once cared for is struggling. But that’s not my mess to clean and not my problem to fix . 
I matter 
I’ll say it again 
I matter 
I place my well being first from now on. 
This journey has taught me so much and healed me. It was a gift I was not expecting to have from all of this. Myself back whole because if I didn’t heal I would have crumbled into the wind. Piece by piece I came back. I did some things I regret to get over you. I’m not perfect. I dated way to fast and was not ready. I knew though I had to stay busy and gone or I would have gone back to you. I had to completely break every idea or hope of you. But I matter and I’m free again. 
I don’t care what you do now. Go and be free. Live your life and do what you want. I’ll do the same. But seriously dude quit having giving your tinder matches my number it’s stupid and cowardly. I’m not going to reach out and ask you to stop.