Hey Sweet Face,

I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, God. She’s officially lost her last marble” so I do apologize in advance for exposing my true feelings and parts of our relationship, something once so good it had to be bad, to the public. I do not want you, nor anyone else for that matter, to think I believe our love story was better than theirs or more deserving of a spotlight, because I’ve always thought of love, or in this case one’s woes, to be something a human could only make sense of by feeling. Again, I know what you’re thinking…”Here’s another attempt at bringing back something so dead, it could be Jesus’ grandpa,” but that is not by any means my intention. In fact, this is a farewell letter. A farewell letter that gently scratches the surface of the things I wish I’d told you when we were one; and the things I wish I’d told you the night you broke my heart. They say love is like magic, but isn’t; that love is simply an illusion…and that is exactly how you made me feel that first time we kissed after our first of many Starbucks dates. I felt like I was on drugs. Really, grab a person who thinks of themselves as unworthy of being loved and stick them in your arms. Man, I felt like the home I never had had always been there, waiting for me. I really wish I had mentioned it to you, and for that, I am sorry. I guess one could say I was more of a feeler than a talker (words of affirmation were your thing anyway) and so when you held me the night we ran away to Oz’s and you asked me what was wrong, nothing was; not then, in that moment, because I knew you could protect me. I wish I had told you that too. I wish I had told you that the sounds you make when you sleep were adorable and the color of your eyes were breath-taking. I still think it’s really freaking cool that you’re colorblind. I still believe you’ll make it as a Country artist, and I can still see your freckles when I close my eyes. I wish the long walks at the park that carried laughter, long stories, and stretched well into the night came with a warning. You made loving you so easy and complicated at the same time. I’m sorry I was cold at times. Those were times I hated myself for not giving you all the things you deserved….and that’s why I worked so hard to begin with (you asked me why I did once, so there’s your answer). Jerrod, I hope you find what you’re looking for in Kerrville and receive all the happiness you deserve. I hope you find the right woman for you and one day have the family you’ve always wanted. I really wish you a happy, happy birthday and a wonderful life. If you ever need anything you know I’ll be here still, willing to help and accept whatever scraps of love you throw at me. I love you so much.

“They say that love is forever, but forever is all that I need.”

Forever Your Girl,

Abby