You were never worth the tears I cried.

You were never worth the tears I cried.

You were never worth the tears I cried.

LTME post“There is a time to every season, under the heaven.”

I’m writing this now because I never thought I’d manage to forget about J, but now that you are with K. Congratulations. I hope you know that I just needed closure. The closure of our being together that was ever so abruptly taken away. And I also wanted to say, how sorry I am for treating you like you meant nothing to me. When we first had gotten together, it was beautiful. But then, I found out that you were cheating on me, but I really didn’t care. What I did care about was how much you lied about what had happened between us. K never had the full story. I just found it insane, that she could ever so clearly judge me for who I was, even though after we basically had broken up, I let her know that I would always love you. It wasn’t about me trying to win you back, but trying to keep a friendship with you which I knew was completely insane to begin with. And it turns out I was right. I mean, I do think about you often but I finally had the momentum I needed to stop contacting you, because after all this is my life too. When I realized the utter damage it was doing to me, I told myself I had enough, and I did. I finally managed to get over you. It took a good six years to get over but I managed to do it. And I realize how happy I am, with what I have chosen. The family I created. Our love is one, I never had a chance to change, but it was for the best.
I see that now. Everything is for the best even if we hate it. And if we are mentioning hate, you have no idea how much I grew to hate you completely. But I don’t hate you now. It is and forever will be in the past, and if you are meant to be in my future, I know that you will catch up. For now, I just wanted to thank you for blessing my life.
And I want to say, I’m so through with being the only woman you couldn’t compare to.
Because I know why I did what I did but your reasons were ridiculous.
You tore my heart, you broke me. It takes a lot of time to heal over pain like that. So forgive me, for trying to ruin your so-called happy life. I never wanted revenge, maybe an explanation and you couldn’t even give me that. This had nothing to do with K. I can’t believe you even allowed her to come between it. It was between “us”. And you know I don’t give a care of the world anymore because I know perhaps, you will do her like you did me or maybe not but I know that karma comes around. It came around for me and it will come around for you. Just prepare yourself. I mean I didn’t even choose to love you but when I did, I loved you with everything I possibly had. You were the reason, I quit going to school, you were the reason as to why I didn’t see my family, and you were the reason that I had become so broken. But not anymore. I’m through with it. I wish you well, though. For I know, you will be better one day and I hope and I pray that you will but then again, you are going to have to change for yourself. Which I have noticed you are finally doing. I just hated that you could so easily cut me out of your equation and I just wanted to say you were never worth the tears I cried for several months, you were never worth my agony or my pain. You were not worth it at all. So how is that for a letter.


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