You don’t get to call the shots anymore

You don’t get to call the shots anymore

You don’t get to call the shots anymore

LTME postHey you,

After your broke up with me, you assured me what we could still be friends and that in a few months we would see each other again. You wanted a “soft break” and you didn’t want it to be the end of us completely. I clung to that hope you gave me, happy that some part of you still wanted me.

I haven’t talked to you since, and I’ve realized how foolish that initial hope was. The only way for me to heal is to completely eliminate you from my future. And that’s exactly what I’m doing. And it’s working quite well.

I can see you trying to slip back into my life again after these couple months of no contact. I thought the letter I sent was pretty clear about my intentions, and I hoped it pissed you off enough that you wouldn’t feel like reconnecting. I though blocking you on multiple platforms would drill this into your head. I unfollowed you on instagram, but you still follow me AND you have the nerve to like my pictures. You are blocked on facebook, yet you tell our mutual friends that you still want to see me this summer like nothing has changed. Buddy, you were the one who broke up with me and asked for no contact. YOU were the one who chose to go on without me first, so I’m not sure why you think you can have a place my life. You were so cold when you broke up with me out of the blue. You hurt me so badly but showed no emotion yourself.

But it’s clear that you still think we can have some semblance of a relationship despite everything you have put me through. For two years I was at the mercy of your anxiety, always questioning myself and the relationship because you didn’t know what you wanted. Now that you have released me, you still think you can define the terms of “us”. When I reject your friendship, you won’t understand and will chalk it up to me being “emotional” and “unstable” and convince yourself I am being immature. It will be my fault for making things awkward with our friends. It will be all my fault because I can’t be an adult and stay friends with the boy who broke my trust and my heart.

Yes, I was insanely in love with you and yes, I was absolutely devastated when we broke up. I bet you think that I still want to be friends because of how hysterical I was when you called me on the phone (because you are a coward) and ended it. You believed I was “dependent on you for my happiness” and that I’ll be grateful that you allow us to be friends. You have no idea of how much I have grown in the past two months and, while I wish I could rub it in your face, I will keep moving forward without you. You underestimated me but now I’m leaving you behind.

You aren’t the type to read this stuff, but if you do see this, you know who you are. I want nothing to do with you. You ended our relationship and now you have to live with the outcome.

I hope our paths don’t cross.


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