Angels playing pretend

Angels playing pretend

Angels playing pretend

LTME-postAs I’m typing this I’m finding it more and more harder to see the screen,my eyes are so blurry from the tears trying to fall from my eyes. Five years is a long time to know someone. We were never together but I loved you so much and you loved me also. Ever so often you would start an argument and blame it all on me the next day. People often asked why I stayed…I stayed because I thought that if I did you would at least notice how much I love you even after all these years. Thinking that you going out with my best friend was some how a mistake. I forgave you so many times over the years but, something just didn’t feel right. You were an angel playing pretend.

You would make everything seem all nice and sweet but then we end up fighting and you would blame everything on me.  I only took blame because I was tired of the fighting. I thought maybe you would soon see how much you hurt me. That’s why I would stay. Thinking that maybe one day after five years of you telling me. We’d be together. You would tell me that you would never hurt me again and I fell for it. You will never read this because the other day you told me your patiences was running out and you didn’t have time to play around. You would always tell me you would never leave me and that no matter what we would get through things.even if it was hard. But you left me.

Now all the what ifs are floating around. What if you died and I’m not there for you. What if you got so mad at me that you do something dumb and got yourself killed. I love you. I miss you. You will never get this but. It hurts. It’s now 10:41 at night and I can’t sleep. Hoping I’d get a text from you knowing I’m not I stay near the phone every second of the day. I don’t believe in God but I prayed for you. Praying that your happy and finally okay. I didn’t mean to waste five years of your life but when yOu really love someone your willing to go through hell with them. You’d take a damn bullet for them. You’d even take blame for shit you knew wasn’t your fault. Dear no one. I’ll love you. I’ll miss you. Please be happy without me. Cause I’m having a hard time just trying to write this letter you will never see. Dear no one. I told you that no matter what I’d love you. I meant that shit but you left me so don’t get mad at me.


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