Every time we talk I die a little more inside

Every time we talk I die a little more inside

Every time we talk I die a little more inside

so I’m writing this at 12:14 am. I should be asleep. I have to be up early to go uniform shopping. we were texting earlier today and the you started being distant and short and sad and I know we broke up almost 3 months but good lord it still kills me like it was yesterday. We broke up over such a stupid incident. You killed me. We were a month shy of six months but I felt like I knew you for 15 years. You were my world. I moved there and you took me under your wing. you cared for me and loved me and then right before we broke up you got so emotionally abusive. I always disregarded and rationalized it. I thought it was my fault but now i realize it was mostly your fault.

I took all your crap. you are so mean. Baby I love you but every time we talk I die a little more inside. I still cry myself to sleep knowing that you’re starting school and gonna be flirting with everyone but since I moved again it doesn’t matter. I’m stuck here alone and unsure what to do and you’re going around and flirting with everything. you told me to my face yesterday that you were doing that. It kills me. I don’t want you back for for god’s sake I was some closure and I want answers. there’s so many loose ends. nothing fits right. IRS like buttoning a sweater with the wrong button so you’re left with an extra hole. let’s not forget how attached to your step mom and dad I was. I hadn’t met them much but I fell into love with them too. My sister fell in love with your dog, Jacks.

I miss the memories. I miss your parents. they are some awesome people. you told me that wasn’t right. I can’t make you happy but I tried. your best friend wished me a nicer happy birthday than you even did. I had talked to you all day and he messaged me at 12:00 am and we were on skyoe and YOY didn’t tell me happy birthday until I brought it up. I texted you on your birthday at 12 am your time and my time even though it was after we broke up. I still have your Columbia jacket. it kills me to see it but I still sleep in it. I hope you felt a little bit of the pain I did. I miss you. but I needs your help to move on.


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