It hurts the most when the way you used to smell is still the smell I’m looking for and when I do smell it again, I’m reminded I may never see you ever.
It hurts the most when he gives me a forehead kiss because your forehead kiss was the reassurance I had fallen in love for the very first time. And I was painfully reminded how it felt so I collapsed in tears.
It hurts the most, because others give me the conversations we used to have and it still isn’t the same because it’s not you.
For almost nine years, from the moment I lost you, there are moments I still can’t stop thinking about you and the way things were. Our memories collapsed after they tore that place down. Yet, I still go there sometimes for just a few seconds. And they all come rushing back.
I have lived life without you from 2012 and on after you predicted that I’d be having a girl once my pregnancy was over, and she wasn’t yours.
It’s been five years since I kissed you last. Our very last kiss.
I hope you will do well for yourself , wherever we end up next. Wherever our destinations may take us on this long road and journey of where we’re going. You always have a home here.
Your once upon a time,