I wish words would come out easily when I think of you because your absence is making it hard for me to breath. Writing things down is my only relief.
I’ve got so many things to say to you that I think that not even when I’ll die I’ll have said them all. I would like to meet you again, you know?. Just to talk, to know how things in your life are going. I’m dating someone now, we’ve been a couple for a while now but I want you to know that this doesn’t absolutely mean that I forgot you or, that I’ll ever will. I hope you’ll do the same. Keeping you in my memory is getting harder and harder while months pass and I don’t know if writing will be enough. Since I know that I can’t keep you with me, I want to keep you in something. I want you to know how dumb I am for having broke up with you but still not knowing if that was the right thing to do. There are really hard days, when I miss you the most and I’d really like to tell you that as much as I’d like to have you by my side again, even as a friend. I know that you probably can’t forgive me, I wouldn’t know how either. But I still think about what we’ve been through and how much I held on you just to keep things going even when you didn’t deserve that. I did this because I love you. I’ll never be sick of telling you this. Everything I did, I did it for love. I’ve waited for you and I would still wait a hundred years if that’s necessary. My depression has got better, just to let you know, but there are days when I just want to curl up in bed, not talking to anyone. And you know what people say when I try to open up? They say things like: “You’re probably stressed/tired”, “Oh I go through that sometimes”, and I can’t help but thinking that you would have understood. I know that it’s crazy of me to say that but, I still need you by my side. I miss you. I really do. You still stuck my guts and, most important, my heart. Will I ever move on?