Still cannot believe it

Still cannot believe it

Still cannot believe it

LTME-postdear x,
Never in my life have I ever been so vulnerable in my life. I never would have thought that you would hurt me like you did. Never would I have every hurt you the way you hurt me. I never would of thought that the person that i fell in love with would turn into a complete stranger over a few days of not seeing each other.
The year we were together was one the best year of my life SO FAR up until the last few months. You changed who you were so that you could fit in with a group of friends and our life together slowly pulled away. You lost yourself. Here I am typing this thinking about what my best friend might be doing but, I do not think that I have even crossed your mind since it ended.
You took everything i had. I showed you who I was, what i liked, you stayed with my family and I over summer because you had no place to go. Everything about me I shared with you. I cared for you more than i cared for myself…and for what? To be dropped like a bad habit. I guess everything I did for you meant nothing. Everyone knows how well i treated you. I can’t help but think you made a mistake but I do not know you anymore.
When our mutual friend introduced us he told me you deserved to be treated right because you had not been in the past. Being the man that I am i did exactly that, i thought you were happy, i thought this was going to be for life but i thought wrong.
When we had problems I was always the one to be blamed. I changed for you, i made sacrifices for the better of our relationship that you would never do for me. There was no compromise on your end 90% of the time.
All you could say was that I was negative or your so immature. How can i be positive when I am sacrificing everything I can and it still is not enough. You used me, took me for granted…chewed me up and spit me out when i had no flavor left–no identity
I lost myself..through all of this..I am trying to find my identity without you..its hard because like I said i showed you all of me..everything I enjoy reflects our time together..
All i wanted was for you to be happy and that got in the way of my own happiness.
You emotionally abused me, scared me for life.
The deepest cut i could have imagined. From the last person I would have suspected.

Well I hope you are happy with your decision. Who ever your after next I wish them the best of luck, seriously because I don’t know what they could do differently. I put you on a pedestal and I guess that was my downfall.

In the end everything will be fine but right now you are in my fucking head.

I really want to thank you for showing me I deserve better.
Thank you for being my motivation at the gym
Thank you for making me want to better myself
Thank you for breaking my heart
and most of all
Thank you for making me find myself again


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