You got your birthday coming up in a few days and I’m in such a turmoil. I want to wish you, I desperately want to be a part of your celebrations, to hug you, to give you a present and all those things. But I can’t! I just can’t do any of those.
I’m trying to keep my promise. The promise of letting you go. When I was made to choose this, I think you had a different definition of ‘letting go’. Perhaps you thought that it meant that I’ll let you go in all aspects and that I’ll move on. And honestly, you are right. That’s exactly what ‘letting go’ would mean to any normal person.
But you see, for me it only meant that I won’t disturb you any longer. That I’ll not contact you any longer. It never meant that I’ll forget you, or I’ll move on. This is the promise that I’m trying to keep.
There is not a single day when you don’t cross my mind. You do, a lot! I see you everywhere, in my dreams, in my thoughts, you just won’t go. It becomes hard honestly. So hard that there are times when things get so overwhelming and I need to just sit and breathe for a while.
I want to thank you for so many things though. Thanks for making me feel what love can be like, you have taught me a lot. You showed me how much love can either make you or break you. And I can’t be more thankful for that.
And no, even after all this, I don’t hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all