You don’t control me

You don’t control me

You don’t control me

When you told me you weren’t in love with me anymore because I was a bitch, after 10 years together, 8 months after I gave you our second child, I thought you ruined my life. But you didn’t – you gave me the out you knew I was craving.

When I found out that you fucked someone the weekend before my birthday. I thought I would never feel loved and accepted. But you gave me the outlet I needed to find someone who will love me despite every insecurity I have. Despite every bad thing you said about me, they will love me. He will treat the children I had with you as his own and he will teach our son what a man in love really looks like. He will understand the concept of “happy spouse happy house” and he will realize that the way you treated me, his mother, was wrong. He will realize what you did one day. Though I will defend you until the day I die because I never want my children to think poorly of their father. Our lives would be better if you disappeared and if our children didn’t love you so much I would pray for it. 

The point of this letter isn’t to bash you. It is to thank you. For being the tiny man, the disappointing man, the liar, and the cheat that you are. Because you are who you are, I realize what I am worth. I realize that I don’t have to tolerate the backhanded compliments, the straight up insults, and the emotional abuse that you served me for 10 years. You have opened my eyes to how toxic our relationship was, and honestly, the sex sucked.

To your new girlfriend, the saying once a cheater always a cheater rings true. He will tire of you and believe me, he’s already called me and expressed his misery with the life you lured him into, and we all know you lied about the Plan B. He’s not worth it, he’s a toxic human, but he’s your problem now boo. Me? I will find the man that worships the ground I walk on, and I will worship him right back.


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