I have unsent letters to you and poems in my drafts about wanting you back. Losing you was the most eye opening thing I have ever had to go through. It opened my eyes that it was you that I wanted all along. I was scared, afraid that it wouldn’t be enough because it wasn’t all fireworks and explosions. I felt safe with you and that felt better than any fireworks ever could. No one made me feel so safe before. It is so rare to find that type of connection. You’re online, talking about what you look for in a person when you told me that you couldn’t be in a relationship until you learned how to heal yourself from your abusive ex. You thought you didn’t deserve real love, so you pushed me away. I am getting better slowly, one day at a time. My sleeping and eating habits are getting better, and my heart doesn’t hurt half as much as it did before. But something is still missing, someone is still missing. You. I think I’ll miss you forever and I think I have to be okay with that.
Working on healing..