Hej there kukhuvud,

The fact that I’ll never see you again makes me unusually happy. I never thought I’d regret saying “I love you” but you’re a special case. Thank you for wasting the better part of a year and turning into a cold and disgusting human once it became clear that our relationship was going to take actual work, not just sex. The thing about long distance is that both parties have to actively choose each other every day, and since it became clear that it would be a while until we’d see each other, you continually disappointed me with your apathy. From literally telling me I wasn’t a priority to you to complaining about how long it had been since we’d had sex while we were stuck literally on different continents, you really never failed to make me feel like shit. 

Our break up honestly made me feel relieved because I don’t have to be your second choice anymore. I really pray for the next few girls you date because I’m sure they’ll never hear the end of you on your high horse talking about how your program is the only worthwhile subject to study and how much work it is. I dodged a serious bullet now that I realize it. Your mom’s narcissism? Turns out it doesn’t fall so far from the tree. Go get that checked out before you date someone else please. And when you make a commitment, I hope you really think about what you’re getting yourself into first. Deciding to date someone during a pandemic isn’t something to take lightly, especially when it will take an infinite amount of work more than usual given border closures. 

I want you to know that I truly regret it all. I can see now that you’re just a selfish little boy and that I was way too committed to giving you a girlfriend experience that you never deserved. I know for a fact that every girl after me will be someone you’ll have to settle for. The truth is that I’m gonna be good and I know it. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do and a lot of inner work. I truly hope you find your peace before subjecting another girl to your games again. You suck. And by the way, height isn’t everything and it certainly doesn’t excuse your behavior. So while you’ve got that going for you, all it makes you is a more massive dickhead. Have fun with that. Shame your dick wasn’t proportionally as large.