2 years too many…

2 years too many…

2 years too many…

Hello C,
It’s been many years since we spoke. I don’t know whether to feel happy or angry. I’m happy because my new life is so wonderful. I have moved on and found the love of my life and we live together and I drive a nice car and I have a good job where I am happy and I live In a beautiful area. But every once in a while your face appears in my mind and I get angry.

I get angry at myself that I even gave you a chance and that I fell for all your bull***. I get angry that I didn’t walk away sooner and I get angry that I let you hurt me more than I could think. I get angry because you appear in my dreams and you haunt me and I can’t shake it.

I see photos of you and I laugh because you honestly get uglier by the day and I haven’t. I laugh because for years it seems you haven’t dated anyone since me and I laugh because I know no girl will fall your game like I did. You almost had everything you ever wanted and you dropped the ball and I don’t feel sorry for you.  The day you left me was the day I started to fucking breathe again. It was the day I realized I was worth more than your silly mind games and I deserved a man who loved me. And lord did I get blessed with this man who’s handsome and has a good job and his family loves me.

You may have been my first true love but honey you ain’t worth even a penny. I honestly feel bad for you. That your lonely and your hair line is disappearing. I feel bad because I have forgiven you. Because you’re not worth my damn time crying about. I hope life is just dandy for you. I hope every fucking morning you look at yourself in the mirror and you scream my damn name because I make you miserable. Fuck you and fuck your life C. Just like you did mine. 



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