I don’t even know what to say

I don’t even know what to say

I don’t even know what to say

I’m angry with you. Angry because you lied. And I don’t know at what point the lying started, for how long or how often. You were lying to yourself. You still are. I think you’re a coward. You think this was the only way, only option, but it wasn’t. I don’t mind if you need to make a decision to be happy. But there were so many steps you could have taken before this one. So so many. You took the easy option. And this is humiliating for me. You lied to me. I believed you. I clung on so hard. Because I love loving, I would have given you everything. 

I refuse to cry about it, I’m just mad at you. You betrayed me, you did the worst thing possible even though I told you this was my biggest fear. 

Well you might be a coward but I’m fierce. I love hard and care hard and that’s the best thing about me. You have lost a really good person. In one conversation. You didn’t even think it was worth fighting for. Relationships end but this was a good one. It had good love. But I don’t know what to think anymore. I would have been so fiercely loyal to you. 

I wish you the best but I can’t see myself ever forgiving you. Go sort yourself out and stop being a fucking coward.

1 Comment

  1. Shaun 1 year ago

    It’s as if I had written this myself. The hardest part is convincing yourself you loved someone that doesn’t exist. They wore a mask and created the image of who we wished for.

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