With love

With love

With love

I saw someone that looked like you. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Maybe it was the height, the way he had curls that covered his eyes, his outfit, whatever it was it made me think about you. I felt weird for staring and I hope nobody noticed. You would tell me that love wouldn’t able to hold us together, but you were wrong. Ever since I left you, I started finding love in everything and eventually, I started loving myself so immensely. Love is all that matters. You made me feel so good and so happy, you were my star, the brightest star. I loved you in ways I wish you could’ve loved me, I wish you loved yourself enough.

I didn’t think I would ever had to tell you that I was glad I never had your kids, it hurt me so terribly to even say that knowing how much I wanted to watch our children grow as we love them unconditionally, as they enter their little awkward, silly stages, then eventually grow into beautiful adults. That would be so gratifying, pleasant, and so so sweet. I remember when you told me you had a dream about us and a little girl that was by our side. I told you I had a similar dream as well, I didn’t know about your dream until I told you about mine. We’d joke around and say that was our future daughter and that she was gonna be stronger than all her brothers. I’ve always wanted a daughter with you, more than anything. It made me happy. It made my eyes swell up with tears, I loved you so much I couldn’t even grasp it.

I learned overtime that love was supposed to be kind. We were so young, I had so much hope for us. I wanted you to be my first time, I wanted to give you our first child, I wanted to do laundry with you, then fold our clothes together, go grocery shopping, I wanted to cut up fruits for you. I wanted to support you and be your confidant. I hope you get everything you deserve and I truly, truly hope I don’t hear a thing about it.


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