Evan, It’s weird writing this. I honestly did not see myself sitting down to write something like this but it has been over four years since we broke up and my heart still aches for you. Everyone always said that time would help- but it hasn’t. You haunt my dreams at night and I wake up barely breathing.

When we broke up I broke and I had to go through so much pain to heal the initial pain. But what is left is deep in my heart. What if we were it bubs? What if we were meant to be and we just found each other when the world was being so cruel to us and we didn’t know how to control our demons yet? I think only time will tell but it’s painful to have to sit here and think what if. 

I check up on you from time to time. You look like you are doing good Ev. I want to hear about all your crazy dreams and experiences. You had this yearning to live and it inspired me. I never realized how important that was to me but it was so admiring. I hope you are living well and big and that you are not in as much pain anymore. 

I love you always

D