To her

I just didn’t want our friendship to go to waste any of that. we had a great bond before dating. i wish things would change i honestly really appreciate you , for staying by me thru thick and thin. i love u and i miss talking to you a lot. i really miss your jokes, smile and laughing.

I really am sorry for that and people like me do change, i have, i really have but i know nobody wants to believe me because i still smoke weed. i only smoke it to make me forget about you for at least an hour it only lasts on me an hour now :,)

I’m sorry for harassing you and being mean. i love u kid. i miss you, a lot you know shit hasn’t prepared me from losing you. like i actually don’t want to lose you on anything i feel as if idk. i’m guilty for hurting you and stuff, i really feel the guilt. i’m not guilt tripping you or anything i just want to tell you i miss you and i miss our friendship, and that i miss seeing you almost every saturday. saturday was our days, i’m sorry the saturdays i had with you since we was together wasn’t ever alone, i was rather high or including mia.

I’m sorry. please unblock me i miss you like hell, i honestly still wait for you to unblock me, and wait for your replies, i wait all night wondering if you’re going to come back. i’m sorry i promised to give you the world how am i supposed to on block. yeah ano you hate me sosososososos much but its okay i could never hate you, if i’m honest, i could only ever miss and love you . i love you so much. i hope you’ve ate and you’re well . i miss you sosososos much you know, i just wanted to be friends, we are better as friends barely any arguments barely any toxicness.

I’m sorry for hurting you mentally and physically i love you. I really love you, i wonder if we still think about each other at the same time even if you have moved on, i really hope time brings us back together. no matter what ill be waiting , from sunrise to sunset, everyday of my life , theres not one day i don’t think off you, i’m sorry for using drugs, thats why we broke up, you know i have changed i’ve cut down on my drug use.

I promise to cherish our memories , and the photos and videos i have remaining of you , i wish to be with you again. i wish to see you and you come running to me with a hug . i truly wish you the best, in life , we are only 13 i hope we find our way back to each-other. I see you everywhere, in my dreams, in the corner of my room, everywhere i walk, i see your beautiful face, and i just smile, i sit down every night , outside or at my window , talking to the stars and the moon about you, there’s something special about you, you made me realise love is worth fighting for. If love isn’t worth fighting for , love does not exist, i truly love you.

I do wish i could change that i’m autistic , and i’m sorry i stress you out too much . i’m not angry , ever like i used to be. it hurts, but i cant force you to love me . You will always be my favourite person. Missing you feels like , forever , i wish i could see you and hug you right now . Yo ass knows ion stop loving someone i’ve loved a lot , and yo ass is one of them people , the only one. When i see you, my heart melts even if its cringey nah dude.

You’re beautiful and incredible. You’re the most caring , beautiful girl i’ve ever met . I can never be just “friends” with you nope, I mean your eyes , just you . I just know we are meant to be , like we always have said. If you ain’t feeling well , always come to me . i know this whole little thing wont reach you, but i’m spending time to rant about you, as nobody is here to listen.  i know i ain’t even been enough for you but its fine , just knowing you loved me once makes me happy , no i’m not fucked up darling, i’m healing and if you ain’t want me to heal with drugs. i wont , ill heal with you by my side if you where, until then i wont heal.

We could’ve talked it out , My hearts telling me you’re my home , and even i know that too. i feel your spirit in me, ion know if tha shi creepy bae, i guess soulties , i feel your presence too . makes me re think, i smell your perfume everywhere i go . I whisper i love you acting as if you can hear me , i stare at the ceiling whispering the most beautiful things i love about you. i wonder if you crave my lips on yours again, but i crave your love , and your smile and your hugs, cuddles everything , about you is what i crave .

I’ve never prayed much , i’ve actually never prayed this year , but a week ago , i prayed god keeps you happy and healthy , and i hope he is ma . its currently 6:53am the suns out and its shining as bright as your smile , it reminds me so much off of you . and as they say , “Soulmates Will find a way to make it work.” all i’ve ever wanted is a beautiful life with you, waking up next to you, dumb ass sleep overs , cute dates, going arcades, museums , bowling. Just living our life together . But it’ll always be you.

When i saw that x beside ur bitmoji for the first time ever , my heart dropped , when my messages never went thru everything dropped ,  idk i believe my heart is tied to yours , but yours isn’t tied to mine . and when people ask me , if its you over them, i choose you even if we don’t talk. i rant about you to people on omegle , and its just so wholesome having someone to rant to about you , as i’m writing this i cant stop thinking off you . and i hope we find each other , again . and when the worlds ending i’d find you.

I may have lied to you a lot but i’ve never lied about loving you . for me , you are my world . please come back , it hurts seeing our photographs , whenever i miss your voice , i listen to videos of us , just to reminisce the old times . i hope one day , stars could talk, and explain how much i’ve talked about you to them . I’ve never fell so hard before . i’m scared of losing you, i already have . i’m sorry, i love you- noor.