I honestly don’t know, why, after 2 years, I am still not going through a day, without thinking of you.
Lets start at the begining, or the end, to be correct.
When we ended, at first I actually was more or less euphoric!
We had been together dor some time, it wasn’t bad over all, but I guess considered we were or still are quite young, we both got the need to connect to alot more people.
Eventually we came to the conclusion, that despite the fact, that we cared for each other deeply, we wanted to live our fantasies or at least live our youth.
Well, after one week apart, we met and tried to be friends. That evening ended with a lot of tears and me driving away, to see, if it was meant to be.
How stupid/realistic I must have been..
I still remember how you told me to turn around and hold you, but I thought, if we’d have any chance, it had to be without my intervention.
However, that return never happened, at some point you told me, it was over for good.
Thats the moment, my heart broke.
It is this moment I have nightmares of.
I tried to forget you, to have meaningless encounters, but everytime, there was a chance of someone getting closer to me, you were the reason in between, that made it impossible.
I honestly dont know, what to do anymore,
I will try to forget you, as it is the only way I can think of, to get you out of my head, but to be honest I’m not sure thats possible..
Either way, I still love you, I do hope you’re doing okay, and that at one point I either meet you again or can be over you for real.