I do regret to break up with you. I was discovering the world, and myself. Last winter I was seeing the world with new eyes, and thinking with a new mind. Everything changed. Months after I go to New York, I was thinking that will be the best for us if I travel. I thought we would have more time to each other, but we didn’t. We stopped talking, and I was thinking “he doesn’t love me anymore.” Then I break up and I thought I was free, but I wasn’t. I think and dream about you alot.
This week is the hardest, because we start talk again. I’m not eating and drinking, just listening sad songs and thinking about you and next year. Next year when I’ll go to England but I won’t see you. I broke my own heart. I feel I can’t scream. I feel I’m falling. You were my floor and I don’t have you anymore. You are walking to the future and I stoped in the darkness, thinking.
I have alot of good memories. I still remember alot about you. “Well, you only need the light when it’s burning low / Only miss the sun, when it’s starts to snow / Only know you love her when you’ve let her go / Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low / Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home” (“Let her go” by Passenger).
It’s hard to let go the first thing you really love. The first guy who makes you feel loved. You made my life have some sense. In my family I feel I’m the rock and they are water. And with you I… I don’t what I feel. An explosion of feelings. Adrenalin. Anxiety. Happiness. I hope you felt the same way I was.
What can I say more? I miss you? I’m sorry? You already know that. I can say “Give me a second chance!”, but I can’t. I don’t think I deserve it. I can say “I love you”, but I don’t know your feelings. Maybe you have a new girlfriend or crush, but who knows? Just you. “Do you think of me? Of what we used to be? / Is it better now that I’m not around? / My friends are actin’ strange / They don’t bring up your name / Are you happy now?” (Don’t’ wanna know by Maroon 5)
I don’t know how to end this letter. Rory, you deserves better. I’m not a good person, but somehow you made me feel like I never did something wrong. You are amazing, and I wish you the best. I adore you my Dinosaur.
P.S.: XD <~ I’ll never forget