C,

We have done this back and forth thing so many times it’s become countless. I don’t even know what to write anymore, I don’t know that to say because I know your mind is made up. I just fear that I may never love again. Everything I do is just a distraction to not constantly think about you and what you are doing, who you are with, think of you sexually. It’s torture this existence. I never felt the high’s of being with someone like when I was with you, however I also never felt the low’s also.

I wish we could go back in time, give us both a real chance at happiness. I miss you, I think of you everyday, your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, and your beauty. I drag my feet through the mud to get through everyday, praying that I have another chance at being together with you or finally being able to accept the fact that this is what it is and I am able to move on. The only issue is I don’t want to move, I simply can’t fathom being with someone else in a loving fashion.

I love and miss you forever.

-J