Is this ever going to get easier? I go home every night to a man that belittles and berates me not only as a girlfriend, but as a mother, and human being. Things that you would never say to me come into play on a daily basis. When you came into my life I was so emotionally unavailable I was unable to love you, but you broke down those walls little by little. You put in the time to get to know me and try to fix the broken parts in me. You treated me like I was worth something, but enough time has gone by now I have gotten used to thinking everything the boy I left you for is right. I have held onto the memory of us as an attempt of a reason to save myself but I know I will never get you back so what’s the point of leaving? What’s the point in being alone if you aren’t going to be here when I have done the work to get you back?

I loved you the entire time but I was too scared to admit it to you. You were and are everything I have ever wanted in a man. You’re the first thought when I wake up, and the last thought before I fall asleep. I want to know how to get over you, us.. I want to know that I am worth it to save myself from this situation even if I can’t have you back. Just tell me what to do. I need you to help me save myself again because B I can’t do it alone.