It’s been weeks since we last had a conversation. A huge part of me knew that we’d end up like this–strangers again. We went from talking daily to not talking at all. I no longer have any idea how your day went, the music you listen to, the movies you watch, and everything about your life. I would do anything just to get a glimpse of you again, even for the last time.
You promised me that you’d always be there for me. You made me believe that you’d never leave me. Yet, you did the complete opposite. You left with no words, no warnings, no closure, or anything. You went ghost on me. You have no idea how hard I resist myself to message you again but I know that it probably isn’t a good idea. I have to respect your choice–your choice to leave. There are days when I feel empty and there are days when I think I’m getting better, however, on both days you never left my mind. You left your spot in my life completely vacant. To be honest, I’m still waiting but I’m done hoping and expecting. I think I’m slowly letting go and it scares me because one day I might wake up and you’re no longer my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. It’s destroying me to let go of you but I still choose to remain like this because this pain is a reminder that it was real, at least to me.
But then again, how can I blame you for leaving when I was the one who let go? or so I thought I did but here I am writing letters to you here that you’d never find, Your birthday’s coming up in a few days and I bought you a gift but I have no idea how to send it to you so I’ll keep it with me for now. I hope you’re doing great and I hope you’re not stressing yourself too much. I’m sending you love, M. Take care always, and happy birthday.