These months we were together were both the worst and best times of my life. You tried so hard, I know you tried so hard. You were so patient with me. And I just kept hurting you, and lying and lying. Why? Why am I this way? Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl and appreciate you the way you deserve? I hate myself every day for this. I remember that time you stood crying in front of me, hopeless, asking me please tell me what I should do.. I don’t know. It was never about you. I think if you would’ve moved a mountain for me I would still come up with something to be unhappy about. I’m so sorry for being this way.. That’s why I will never bother you again. I will let you live your life, I will wish and pray every day that you find the person you belong with. Your hand is not mine to hold anymore and it’s breaking my heart. Even more so because I know it’s my fault. 100%. Not the age gap, not my parents that hated you, not my other problems, they were convenient excuses I used for being this way. Truth is I was just an insecure, scared and confused girl. I still love you A. But I know you deserve better than this