I wish you well

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Endings with no beginnings
Endings with no beginnings 150 150 Letter To My Ex

It was a relationship of convenience and of circumstance. We were both single – I was desperate to be wanted, your motives were a little more ambiguous. But you were my first everything, and as you left, you took a part of me with you, a part of me I may never reclaim.

There was nothing in common between us – our dreams, our values, our personal expectations – yet we made it work for nine months. Nine months of the most important year of our lives so far were devoted to sustaining something that we never had. Thank goodness it didn’t matter in the end – or else I may have never forgiven you.

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I still want you
I still want you 150 150 Letter To My Ex

I still want you.

I still need you.

I still want my life with you.

So I’m sitting here crying, I can’t stop. The truth is I haven’t stopped crying for the past two weeks. The sound of any song especially Drake (the songs we made love to) or Lil Wayne makes my heart bleed. I used to be the type of girl that felt girls exaggerated being heartbroken, but I can’t deal. A part of me doesn’t want to exist. The fact that you don’t want me is too hard to comprehend. I sit here and look at my whatsapp messages, stalk what time you was last seen just so I know your alive, just so I know your still out there. I don’t get why you don’t get it. Why you don’t understand.

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Choosing to remember the good
Choosing to remember the good 150 150 Letter To My Ex

I know this is strange. Getting an email from me after years have passed. But I’m leaving soon to continue with my career. And so much of me wanted to just leave and leave it all behind. Leave you behind without a final word. But I couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye to you.

I truly regret the things I said to intentionally hurt you after we went our separate ways. I only said those things because you had hurt me and I wanted you to feel the hurt I felt. It was stupid really and I’m sorry. Those words were empty, with no truth to them.

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I’m sorry for my behaviour
I’m sorry for my behaviour 150 150 Letter To My Ex

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being too clingy and overbearing at times. I wish I could have been a girlfriend that allowed you space to be with friends and other people. I understand that you have other friends, even some that are girls. I guess I was so clingy because I was afraid to lose you like I have lost everyone else.

I have low self esteem and don’t tend to love myself like I should. I wish I could get over this and realize that you really did love me. And I still think you do… but that isn’t my call. Whenever we talked I felt this connection that I hadn’t felt with anyone else. I have been used and tossed to the side so I cling to people to make sure that they know I love them, but clearly you already knew.

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My dear love…
My dear love… 150 150 Letter To My Ex

I decide to write because I will not be able to put into words what I’m feeling and I find writing a better way.

Right now I’m sitting in my office on a break, and all I do is think about you.

Thinking since the day we met at the Gas Station, what a crazy funny and most perfect day!

Thinking about our fights, our moments together, in all the points that I made wrong.

And how I could make it better.

Can’t stop playing the video in my mind from our moments.

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What did I do to deserve this?
What did I do to deserve this? 150 150 Letter To My Ex

Ian,

I realize this message probably never find you. I also realize that if you ever find it, it will be many lifetimes from now. But I feel compelled to write it because what you did to me wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right.

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Confused with heartache
Confused with heartache 150 150 Letter To My Ex

Dear Paddy,

I can’t even call you my ex as we were never together,

I guess because I believed you never saw me that way unless you were drunk.

Theres so much I have always wanted to tell you, but been to proud, to afraid, to stupid. I have been inlove with you for the last year, I love everything about you, your still now one of my favorite people in the world. Even when you give me less then zero, I hold a higher regard for you then my closest friends. Seeing you sad, cast, upset, sick, angry makes my heart ache. I just want you to be happy. I’d do anything, go anywhere, buy anything just to improve your mood slightly, Now that we live together it makes getting over you all the more easy.

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I don’t want you to forget about me
I don’t want you to forget about me 150 150 Letter To My Ex

It’s been a little over two weeks since our last conversation and I feel like a lot has happened since. Every now and then, I’ll see that guy in class who looks just like you. I’ll go to the gym at school and it always reminds me of you, because you were the one to get me into fitness in the first place. I’ll be at home during the nights, wishing I had someone to bounce ideas off of or just have a great conversation with. You’re one of the most intelligent guys I’ve ever met, and yet you’re still down to earth, logical, and kind. The only problem was that you had commitment issues, and in a sense I had them as well. I feel like we were two of the right people, but just didn’t meet at the right time or under the right circumstances.

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Friends?
Friends? 150 150 Letter To My Ex

So much I’ve wanted to tell you, so much I’ve wanted to say in hopes that you would listen.

we went through a lot in such a short amount of time, I know it was new and scary at the start and then as we got to know each other on a new level things got interesting, I will never forget the love and support I got off your family, from the moment I met you I knew you weren’t like any other guy, you noticed the little things, like my nail polish and what my hair colour was. in my many years of dating you were the first guy who took me to his house to meet his family not his bedroom, it was then that I knew you were the one. that you didn’t have any other motives. i’l admit that as much as everything was a first for you there were a few firsts for me as well, you did things that no guy has ever done which as much as I didn’t say anything at the time actually meant a lot.

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Door closed
Door closed 150 150 Letter To My Ex

Dear Kenny,

On Jan 7, the door is finally closed between us. You broke my heart, but I couldn’t seem to get myself to close the door on you. So I had to make you do so.

I lied when I said that I wanted you to live with regrets. The truth is I only want the best for you, and if you never really had feelings for me, you shouldn’t know about our baby. If you are involved with our life, I know you and I will get intimate and you’ll be forced to be with me. No one will benefit from that. Not me, not you and not the baby.

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