At the beginning of our relationship, we made a deal and shook hands — if ever the time came when one of us wanted to be with someone else, we’d give the one who wanted to leave their space to do that — no stalking, no tree boxing, no acting crazy. What we had was good for a while; 12 years of the “20” we still considered ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend. Then you decided to move back to Louisiana; and you didn’t invite me to move there with you. So I stayed in Seattle. I told you I didn’t do well in long distance relationships. You told me to hang in there and not to give up on us.
I hung in there. For 8 more years. Time and distance between us became an issue. When I came to visit you, after 3 days, you asked me to leave. When you came to visit me, you stayed for one day and couldn’t wait to leave. I have been such a FOOL!!!!! The “red flags” were there, but I didn’t take heed. Your family, our friends, everyone knew but me! You had started a relationship with someone else in Louisiana and didn’t tell me. You kept me hanging on. I finally came to the realization on Easter Sunday when you didn’t answer my text. I called you a day later and asked you what was going on. You told me you were depressed. I asked you why, but you said you didn’t know. You said you would call me in a few days and we would talk. I waited, but you never called. And then, like a bolt of lightening, everything made sense. You weren’t depressed, you felt GUILTY! Guilty as to who to choose. Guilty because you knew I was good to you. Guilty about how long you betrayed, cheated and lied to me. Guilty about not being honest with me and telling me the truth. Guilty about not holding up your end of the bargain.
Six months have passed and I cry everyday.
But, it’s ok. Such is life…